Posts Tagged ‘Michael Phelps’
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When Olympic Spirit Meets The Major LeaguesAugust 28th, 2008
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Like most Americans, I watched in sheer amazement as Chinese filmmaker Zhang Yimou and tens of thousands of his fellow countrymen and women transformed the Bird’s Nest into the world’s most colossal IMAX Theater, where Cirque du Soleil met the millennial history of China … well, Tibet and Tiananmen Square excluded.
Anyway, politics aside, the opening ceremony of the 29th Olympiad was truly something to behold. And like any good lead, the presentation just grabbed me hook, line, and sinker. I mean, a giant, LED scroll-thingy? It really doesn’t get any better than that.
Sure, I could nit-pick over post-production cartoon fireworks or a computer generated Chinese girl lip-synching “Ode to the Motherland” (or something like that). But let’s face it, this opening ceremony was pretty akin to baseball over the past 20 years: artificially enhanced.
Hell, even the weather was unnaturally altered. A few hours prior to the opening ceremony, the Chinese fired over one thousand rain dispersal rockets into the ominous sky in order to fend off some pesky rain clouds.
Speaking of which, can you imagine Bud Selig launching an air strike against a threatening stack of nimbus clouds hovering about Fenway Park minutes before the first pitch? All I know is that the result probably would end in a tie.
But I’m way off course, here. The point is, you—the 2008 Summer Olympics—wowed me, and I was your humble, mindless viewing servant until August 24. Read more
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A View From The RavineAugust 26th, 2008
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Finally the curtain has come crashing down on the Rangers 2008 season. And while it was fascinating and gruesome, like a terrible highway accident that you couldn’t take your eyes off of, everyone did just that. They were all watching the Olympics, specifically Fishboy, Michael Phelps. I don’t want to go all Cary Lowry-Big Brown here, but if you will, indulge three quick points:
First, I get that he won a lot of medals, but they were all for the same thing. He swam really fast. Shouldn’t that be the point? I mean, Carl Lewis never had the chance to win 8 medals for running fast. He didn’t get a chance to go for the 100-meter dash, 200-meter dash, high jump, 400-meter relay, 100-meter backwards dash, 200-meter left footed hop, 100-meter dash w/book on head, and 400-meter handstand relay.
B, for BORING! Fast in a straight line is okay, protected from the vicious French and the nasty Belgians by plastic lane dividers. But why don’t we smear him in steak sauce and let a couple of sharks loose in the pool. Now, that’s how you decide who’s fast and who’s not.
Third, I love that idea. Americans are watching “So You Think You Can Dance?” and “I’d Eat That For A Buck” in record numbers. Wouldn’t you tune in to a reality show called “Is Michael Phelps Faster Than A Shark?” I’d watch, every single week….
But back to the point, the Ranger’s bus finally teetered over the edge after driving Speed Racer style on the rail for the majority of the season. And April’s bullies, the Tigers and the Red Sox, helped finish it. So now the club is left to play spoilers, messing with the various pennant races while finding out which young prospects can play. The only problem is that Texas has been doing that all season long.
If you are keeping track, (and seriously, you shouldn’t be. Seriously.) the Rangers will be employing player number 52 sometime this weekend. That’s more than two full rosters worth of baseball. We’ve seen Red Hawks and Rough Riders and even a few LumberKings. Really, if you didn’t get called up at some point, you might want to start rethinking career options.
Still, there are a number of questions that need to be examined and addressed over the next five weeks. Among them: Is Chris Davis a 3rd baseman or a 1st baseman? And vice versa on Hank Blalock. And where do you put Ramon Vazquez to keep him in the lineup? The middle of the infield is a little easier with two All-Star, thundering bats in Young and Kinsler, but what about the defense? Is there any way to improve that without sitting someone?
The outfield looks to be settled with Byrd breaking out of his early slump, Bradley proving to be a valuable threat, Boggs and the injured David Murphy maturing nicely. The only question is the Rangers’ ability to sign MVP-Worthy Josh Hamilton to a nice, fat, long-term deal. They simply can’t let him get away.
Behind the plate? Laird is Laird, Salty is less, and Max and Taylor are waiting in the wings. But what about next year? Does anyone feel like one of those folks is the answer at catcher right now?
Luckily we’ve seen about every pitcher in the organization. Unluckily whoever the club hires to be a pitching coach won’t have. He’ll have to waste valuable time judging their strengths and weaknesses for himself. (I’ll help. Strengths: Ability to swivel head 180 degrees repeatedly. Weaknesses: Pitching.) And then he’ll have to figure out if the hurt ones are always going to be hurt. And rebuild the bullpen. And find a reliable long-term solution at closer.
It’s going to be a dangerous looking off-season for Ron Washington and company. Honestly, I’d rather be the guy forging birth certificates for Chinese gymnasts than trying to sort this mess out. Or so I hear. I can’t really say, because I was off watching baseball.
ADDED NOTE: There still may be time to vote for the greatest Rangers player of all time on Baseball Tonight’s online poll. It closes August 24th at 1 a.m. You can vote for Nolan, Ruben, Young, Pudge, Bell, Juan, Raffy, A-Rod, Frank Howard or Mr. Knuckler, Charlie Hough. I tried to write in Curtis Wilkerson and Will Clark, but it wouldn’t let me. If its not too late, go to http://sports.espn.go.com/chat/sportsnation/story?page=bbtnfranchisegreats and cast your vote.







