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Fleeing The CountryApril 16th, 2008
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Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly… I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch.
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn’t it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy: I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you’re probably wanted for murder.
(From IMDB.com, a scene from the Oscar-winning motion picture “Anchorman”)
Yeah, it was that kind of first week at home for the Rangers. In fact, the only reason that they didn’t kill someone with a trident was that it happened with Runners In Scoring Position, and Texas can’t hit anything in that case. So, the clutch hitting could use some work, but they are making up for it by putting a quick 16 errors on the board in only 14 games. And that’s just the errors that you can officially count, not the inane caught stealings or Byrd’s “Didn’t watch the thirdbase coach, and hey, why is David Murphy standing here at third with me?” type of errors.
Eight games at home and the only two wins came in a doubleheader on Thursday. At least the team is getting out on the road, heading to Toronto. The Rangers’ recent history against the Blue Jays is that, oh, great, that’s who swept us over the weekend. Never mind. Good news, Detroit! Hang in there! We’ll be visiting next week. That should help.
The last time that a Rangers team faded this fast, killing even the most optimistic fans, was way back in 2007. Rudy Guliani and John Edwards were on a collision course for the Presidential Election, the smugness of Red Sox Nation only had one World Series title in the last nine decades, and the economy was looking up based on the good news from Iraq. YEP, LAST YEAR. The team started 5-5, then went 1-6. This year, Texas went 5-3 and then tacked on a 5 game losing streak.
Occasionally a team can tank right out of the gate. It helps if you went to the World Series in the last couple of years like the Tigers. But two years in a row is asking a lot, don’t you think? Long-time Texas fans will fondly remember the team’s annual “Post All-Star Game Collapse.” Up until July, the Rangers would lurk around, building on a splinter of hope, then crater and end up 26 games back. Now, we are just praying that we aren’t eliminated from the playoffs before the Stars and the Mavs are.
Ron Washington apologized yesterday for his team’s play and he promised that they will get better. Certainly good enough for me, Ron. Toronto, Boston, and Detroit would be good places to start. Otherwise, this could really get out of hand fast.
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